Clinical Depression
When realfeelings are left unexpressed, they fester and multiply. The sadness or anger does not go away. Instead, it get stored inside our bodies and left unacknowledged. Many of us grew up in families that did not encourage or even allow us to express any kind of overt feelings. We learned to suppress our normal natural childlike feelings of anger, depression and even joy. Experience proved the old adage 'better to be seen than heard' and we learned to repress in order to survive.

True depression is all about the stuffing of feelings. It is a pervasive low feeling of knowing that something feels wrong but we just don't know what. Life feels like a day in and day out drudge. There's nothing to look forward to. Nothing that brings us happiness. We go through the motions and keep up appearances. Some days are easier than others. Most days we just don't care.

Sometimes the feelings are stored so deeply that we just feel numb. By the time we reach adulthood we don't even know what a feeling is or how to label one. Many people think that all a therapist says is, "How do you feel about that?" Early on in my career, I learned that for many people, the question of "how do you feel?" is honestly impossible. Simply put, deep depression means you are so detached that you really don't know how you feel. You have long ago, drowned in your own sorrow.

Luckily we live in a day and age where you can be 'saved'. If you are in living like a human zombie feeling totally crushed, empty and overwhelmingly sad, there is real help. I am lucky to be teamed up with some excellent psychiatrists if medication is necessary. I always see anti-depressants as a useful tool but I also see it as only one of many tools to help you get on wth your life. Medication alone is never enough. Real depression requires real human contact and unconditional positive regard. More often than not, the lack of true support is the root cause of depression. A solid trusting therapeutic relationship is essential for recovery. It's most effective when someone who is depressed is given the power to set the pace.

The healing comes when we unlock and release those stored up feelings. We do this a little bit at a time so that it's not overwhelming. Sometimes it hurts a bit when we clean out the wounds. That sting is necessary in order to make sure we get it totally clean. The goal is to eventually form scar tissue that will not be painful to the touch. The old hurts become a part of your past.

You can feel alive again. As soon as you arrive you've take the first step towards acknowledging that you're worth it. From there we'll schedule regular work-outs so we can exercise that part of you that wants to join the world.

When you think about getting help, you are tuning into the part of you that still has hope. That's the part of you that's still alive. No matter how small, we can take this tiny hopeful part and develop it together. It's like working out. We've got to start slow so that we can effect change that you can internalize. Healing occurs when we unlock and release stored up feelings. From there we develop new thoughts and ways to approach life. Usually we discover that the person you originally thought you were has little to do with the person you are in reality.

Jackie Castro is a licensed Marriage, Family Therapist with a private practice in Encino. She’s helped many newly divorced men and women transition into feeling whole again as a single person. Jackie is also a certified Grief Recovery Specialist and received training from the Grief Institute in Los Angeles.

© 2008 Jackie A. Castro, MA, MFT